Women Without Kids

Ruby Warrington, 2023

I wish this book wasn’t about a “revolution,” but it is. Sixty years after The Feminine Mystique (as one example) revealed that — GASP — not every woman in the world wants to be a mother, we are still trying to believe it. There are headlines around the world about declining birth rates, failed “incentive” programs, and growing restrictions to abortion access and birth control in so-called progressive nations, like my own.

In some ways, forgoing motherhood in favor of doing literally anything else with your life is the final frontier in women’s fight for equality.

Women Without Kids

And so it was with a mix of frustration and hope that I opened WWK. I am frustrated, still, that this book is necessary. But Warrington has a contagious optimism that makes me believe that maybe this will be one of the last books we need to excuse women from the guilt and judgement associated with eschewing motherhood.

The style of the book is incredibly engaging. It’s part memoir, part self help, and Warrington regularly checks in with her reader. Has this been your experience? What do you think about this now that I’ve given a brief history lesson? She gently points out where some of our outdated beliefs about what women can do come from, and excuses us all from conformity.

For women without kids, the invitation is to engage in this work without getting another generation involved. Think about it: what would it have meant for the women in your lineage not to have had kids? What sacrifices might they have had to make in order to pursue an alternative path?And how might their lives have played out differently had they been free to opt out of patriarchal motherhood?

Women Without Kids

One of the most important aspects of this book is the welcoming tone Warrington strikes for all states of womanhood. Time and again she reminds us that mothers and non-mothers are on the same team. I’ve watched in dismay as the “child-free” movement sometimes shifts into ridicule toward moms, and vice versa. It’s obvious how this happens, but judging each other is unnecessary and counterproductive. Each chapter begins with a few quotes from women without kids, which frequently inspired a “me too!” sentiment I wasn’t expecting. I typically reject the idea that women give any “reasons” for their choices, but in the context of this book, it serves the reader so well. Three stars.